Monday, August 30, 2004
Oi!

Happy BurfDay to Aisha... yeah.. one of my best fren... she's 21.. hahahaaa.. check out my squadmates.. Me, Aisha, Ida and Dayana...

till the next entry!



my devilish rants;
3:41 PM

Saturday, August 28, 2004
Got my Roxy!!

oh ya! got my cap... yea... thanx to Ida who went shoppin with me on Wed.. hahahaaa.. went off early so we dun have to see fuggers later on the streets... wonderin wat fuggers are? they are the people in uniform, walking around town like they are one fucking big shots... hahahaa go figure!

so we took photos neway..will get them uploaded once i get the cd from my sista... Ida aslo get herself a cap from All.Day.I.Dream.A.S... hahaha ADIDAS lah... still cant figure out wat the A stands for i noe the S is sex but nevemind... hahahaa.. so we had a great time and we wore our caps... so the semangat ... but i enjoyed it even though it rained heavily... and as per normal, i took the train with her to Khatib and then 969 back to Tampines.. hahahaaaaa lame i noe... then i walked to my Grams place... it was alrite... stayed there till bout 10 before making our way home cuz i'm sending Asri to the airport in the morning..

ya.. i think he's there rite now.. hahahaa... had a quick nap for 2 hrs before waking my mum up cuz she wanted to go too... so we waited for my aunt to pick us up and then we went to the airport... it was early but there were a few of his frens and they were to send to send him off just like us... neway his flight was retimed so my abg sedaras, Abg Aki and Abu entertained me throughout the waiting.. hahahaa.. so bout 5 ASri said goodbye and we went home and i slpet like a log man... damn tired...

so neway, new layout... gothic and all... like the gerl a lot.. like me... sit one corner, looking fearful... haahahaaa... that's me.. hahahaaa..

till the next entry!



my devilish rants;
3:50 PM

SpiderWebs

Ida told me to put up this lyrics cuz it describe the state of my life rite now so here it is...

SpiderWebs by No Doubt

You think that we connect
That the chemistry's correct
Your words walk right through my ears
Presuming I like what I hear
And now I'm stuck in the
The web you're spinning
You've got me for you prey
(Yeah) Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message
And I'll call you back
A likely story, but (Yeah) leave a message
And I'll call you back

You're intruding on what's mine
And you're taking up my time
Don't have the courage inside me
To tell you please let me be
Communication, a telephonic invasionI
'm planning my escape...
(Yeah) Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message
And I'll call you back
A likely story, but (Yeah) leave a message
And I'll call you back
And it's all your faultI screen my phone calls
No matter who callsI gotta screen my phone calls

Now it's gone to deep (Now, it's gone too deep)
You wake me in my sleep (Wake me in my sleep)
My dreams become nightmares (Dreams become nightmares)
'Cause you're ringing in my ears(Yeah)

Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message
And I'll call you back
A likely story, but (Yeah) leave a message
And I'll call you back
And it's all your faultI screen my phone calls
No matter-matter-matter-matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls

Oooh, the spiderwebs
Leave a message and I'll call you back
I'm walking into spiderwebs
So, leave a message and I'll call you back

I'm walking into spiderwebs
It's all your fault, no matter who calls
I gotta screen my phone calls
It's all your fault, it's all your fault
No matter who calls, no matter who calls

I'm walking into spiderwebs so,
Leave a message and I'll call you back
I'm walking into spiderwebs so,
Leave a message and I'll call you back


till the next entry!



my devilish rants;
7:33 AM

Friday, August 27, 2004
Fuckers!

why is the world full of fucking irritating guys that just cant get in their head that when a girl says no, it means no? what is fucking wrong with them...? and why cant i fucking blocked you on MSN? is it fucking wrong? itz my account and i fucking can do anything to it.. if i dun feel like fucking put you on my contact list, is it my fault? fucking no! and if i dun feel like giving you another chance to get close to me, is it my fault to? fuck no! so dun keep on asking me why this and why tat and why i'm not giving you another fucking chance cuz you dun fucking make it..

since you really wanna noe why you cant make it, i'll give it to you... cuz i'm in fucking in love wit someone else... even though you have feelings for me, i dun have any for you... cuz we are staying strictly PLATONIC! and wat the fuck when you said you have feelings for me? we barely known each other and you think tat one meeting is gonna fucking make me have feelings for you? hell no!

and why is the saddest moment of you day is when i dun fucking reply back to you? am i supposed to reply back? is there a fucking rule stating that everytime you received a sms i should fucking reply back to you? and do i looked like i care? no, i dun..

fuck lah they all..




my devilish rants;
7:21 AM

Tuesday, August 24, 2004
I dun want to talk about it...

kay the song that is playin is Fall to Pieces by Avril Lavigne.. this is one song i will sing if i ever got into a fight with the person that i love... so go check it out aite.. and sing along.. hahahaa

Fall to Pieces by Avril Lavigne

I looked away
Then I looked back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today is the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

And I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

You're the only one
I'd be with 'til the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

And I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything
Everything

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
And I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
'Cause I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you




my devilish rants;
2:46 PM

Monday, August 23, 2004
Cuz I'm in love with you...

received a mail from a fren of mine bout my horoscope... part of it may be true while some of it, i guess it mite happen in the future.. hahahaaa.. well, i just read it for the sake of reading it.. most of the time i make sure that i prove them wrong.. ehhhehahah..

life was alrite for the past few days... lepak with Ida a lot lately... met An and Ani (finally i get to see her.... ) then went to town to get my cap but the surf shops all closed at 730.. idiot! decided to go home and took the train to Khatib and then 969 back to Tampines.. it was alrite.. i mean i walked back home which was really really nyce! enjoyed my walk...

kay... life is really miserable when you have graduated from skool bout a yr ago and you are still jobless... that's why i like to walk back home if i'm at the interchange.. it gives me endorphine and it makes me happy so i'm like that.. hahahaaa... lame i noe..

till the next entry!



my devilish rants;
10:28 PM

Sunday, August 22, 2004
Ishk! Damn it! (Part 2)

yea... finally i get to blog... cant put up my entries the recent days cuz my fucking IE was not werking and Abg Md Nor has gotten rid of the Trojan virus in my laptop and it seems as good as new... but my home pc is having trouble with the IE and all... fuck all these viruses... idiot man!

so neway, something happened like few days ago and me bein a bitch, as per normal, stood to my ground to be one still.... not changing but tat voice in my head keep saying, "Biar org buat kiter jgn kiter buat org..." but i cant... hahahaa... i still insists to be a bitch so i dunnoe how to un-bitch myself... hahahahahaahaaa.. it was just too fast... way, way faster than the bullet train and it freaked me out, totally... and i kept thinking bout it why?.. why of all people in the world it has to happen to me? why cant i always get wat i want? but then again, itz life...

then something truly wonderful happened too... i finally get that somewan out of my system... thanx a lot to Ida cuz she listened to my craps and whinnings and all.. so thank you so much gerl! you've been a great fren... and i'm really really happy!!! weeeeeeee

oh ya! a big shout out to my sista, Kak Suzee for, ahem... sponsoring my cap... hahahahaaaaa... i'm gettin it.. palapapapa.. thanx a lot kak!!! muaaakkkssss!!!!

ishk! damn it!

till the next entry!



my devilish rants;
12:54 AM

Sunday, August 15, 2004
Ishk! Damn it!

recap wat happened the last few days.. hahahaaa... so neway Friday, i finally get to meet Ida... was so happy to see her... supposed to lepakz at town but we decided to chill at Tampines. then she told me that Farhan from TP will be joinin us so neway we waited for him cuz he fell asleep while waiting for Ida to reach Punggol.. ahahaa.. so we went to Delifrance got ourselves some snacks and then we went to Coffeebean and the lame part is that we didnt drink any coffee.. we got ourselves Snapples.. hahahaaa.. so chat and chat and then An called his fren Ishkandar (Ish) down to meet... he stayed opposite Coffeebean so it was like alrite ar.. then neway we talked and laughed till bout 830 at nyte then we made our move so that was it lah...

then on Saturday, went to a couple of places with Dayana and her sis, Wanie... fianlly got to our destination, East Coast Park... we went i-line skating... it was just perfect! had a lot of fun and still wishin that Ida could join us but she couldn't... so neway bout 7 we make a move and then we decided to meet up for dinner at Simpang Bedok to get our claypot noodle... yum yum... and once again an joined us... sit and chat then we walked off at bout 1130.. decided to crash over at their place but did not bring my contacts case so went home got my pjs and all then went to their place.. talked to Dayana till 330 in the morning before goin to sleep.. so neway woke up the next morning, lepak at her kitchen before she send me back home... for kenduri

so neway got kenduri at Cik Mat's house... for Asri... my partner-in-crime when we were like really small... bout 5-6 years old.. we were really close... i still remember him saying this, "Kalau mummy (my mum) ajak kluar, Ishdah ajak Asri. Kalau ibu (his mum) ajak Asri kluar, Asri bawak Ishdah"... we did it neway so it was like kewl... neway we went to the same skool... Jamiyah.. hahahaha i noe.. me in Jamiyah... i was and i was good u noe... got tops for the year... hahahahaaa
then after that went to catch the firewerks and it was totally awesome! it was longer than the Singapore theme and it was better.. hahahahahaah oh ya! it was the Hong Kong theme this time ard....

so neway, found out bout something bout something...damn.. i should have known... wish it neva happen but then again hahahahaaaaaaa... ishk! damn it man!

till the next entry!




my devilish rants;
11:35 PM

Friday, August 13, 2004
Fucking paranoid of Fear... (Part 1)

i cant really explain wat i'm feeling rite now... there are butterflies in my stomach but i really have no idea why... am i'm nervous? or am i just scared of summat?.... itz really irritatin i mean itz making me sick.. totally sick... or maybe itz fear... i think itz fear.. totally..

but fear of wat?... i remembered having this kind of thing once... it is fear... gosh! am i really that paranoid?... why is it that when something new happens to me i got all feared up and have no sense of direction? and i dun noe wat i want to do... i noe wat i have to do but i dun noe how to do it... i dun want anyone to get hurt but i will get hurt in the end.. somehow.. not physically but you noe me fucking emo bitch... i'm always afraid to try something new fearin that it would hurt me again.. see told ya.. it is fear... fucking fear.. it just wont go away.. why am i so afraid? and why am i always running away? when can i ever stop?... i am afraid to do something new but i dun want to forget the old... cuz everytime the old one came back, i'm transported back to the time whereby i would tink that everything is where it is supposed to be.. that everything is kewl but itz not... it will hurt me again and the whole process continues in a cycle... which is really fucking irritating...

I go to skool and i run and play I told the kids that itz all okay I laughed a loud so my frens wont noe When the bell rings i juz dun wanna go home
Go to my room and i closed my eyes I make believe that i have a new life I dun believe it when you say Everything will be wonderful some day
I dun want to start all over again I just want my life to be the same
Some day as i hate everything Everyone and everything Please dun tell me everything is wonderful now...

take care!


my devilish rants;
12:59 AM

Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Now you're gone...

life have begun to be interesting for me.. hahahaaa lame but itz true.... itz been great and i'm enjoying it...

the holidays were really a great one.... Saturday, bbq at Kak Ina's place and we slept over there.. then on Sunday i went out with my mum to catch the firewerks display at the SFF 2004.... then Abg Ian called me up and we met at Fort Canning for the radio show thingy.. wasn't really interested but neway we made our way to the padang and the whole thing was awesome but it was bloody short!!!
then the next day, me and Aisha and her sister went to catch the firewerks display durin the NDP 2004... it was totally awesome! and Hakim looked cute in his uniform.. hahahaaa...

so the holidays are over and i'm back to the normal things again... missing a lot of my frens... Anim, Hudah and Yatee!!!!! where are you lots???? Miss ya!!!

neway till the next entry!




my devilish rants;
4:14 PM

Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Confession of a freaking emo fantasy bitch..

aite.. the party went great.. my pinata was beaten to death but in the end, Abg Ian tore it open cuz it didn't eeven break... the whole thing went as expected and i was a fucking driver for almost everyone! but overall it was good.. and i found out something todae... was hopping itz not true but itz juz is.. and i have to face reality cuz i'm in the fantasy world for sooooo loonnnggg.. so neway, while i'm really gettin myself out of that world, pls do take care of yourself and enjoy life while you are still at it....


till the next entry!



my devilish rants;
3:58 PM

shidah;ishdah;gerl;simple;emo;easy;tolerable;me